Old Habits Die Hard… And So Do Social Media Clichés
Clichés are clichés for a reason. They’re supposed to remind us of something we should’ve already learned. They’re easy – that’s why social media clichés are such a big issue right now.
After all, we just love taking the easy way out, don’t we?
Yes, actions speak louder than words. Imagine this: a typical business on social media, desperately trying to come up with cool content. A cat meme here, a hashtag there, topped with a hopefully-viral one-word statement – boom, you’re there!
And by “there” I, of course, mean at the bottom of the sewer. Well, you can’t please everyone, right?
What you can do is care. Crafting content like that only helps you come across as someone who doesn’t give a rat’s ass about his users. Really – I feel like I can’t even throw a proverbial rock on the Internet these days without it knocking down thousands of clichés.
Don’t just take my vague word for it, though – I’ve dug up the worst social media clichés (trust me, I didn’t have to dig very deep) and there’s no time like the present for you to take a look.
- Cats suck. They’re cute, but they suck.
Sure, laughter may be the best medicine, but what exactly are you using those cat videos to cure people from? Common sense? All logic? It’s almost 2016 and even though I adore cats, I’m happy to say it’s way past Grumpy cat’s and Nyan cat’s time on social media. If I’m right about this, they’re being gradually replaced with…sloths. That’s right! Ever seen rape sloth? He’s so got it.
- Why do I need to keep calm? What if I’m pissed off?
And what if your daily “keep calm and…” pictures are what’s pissing me off? People say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, but I don’t see how this piece of old rubbish can make me stronger – I think there’s a bigger possibility of it killing me. If the British government knew what it was creating back in the 1930s, I have a feeling it would go something like this:
– Hey, how about a “Keep Calm And Carry On” poster?
– Oh come on… We can do better than that. We don’t really want to start a movement that thousands of brainless twats are going to continue until it becomes so annoying, people will want to stop living rather than thinking about it… do we?
- “This”. What? Huh? Does your dictionary only include 1 word now?
Are you too lazy to stop being lazy, or what? “This” is 100% the laziest of all possible social media commentary. It usually goes next to an article or photo, and projects that “that” is much more dramatic than “this” can ever be. They say you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but man, am I judging you when I see this on your page’s wall.
- Your new hair gel is probably not groundbreaking.
Did you use angels’ tears in it? Did it pop up from another physical plane? (If it did please send me one too.) Companies have the nasty habit of overusing words and phrases like “groundbreaking” or “once in a lifetime” to the point where disliking your page doesn’t seem enough to erase your posts from my mind. You may believe your customers’ love is blind, but unless you have some of those angel tears, it’s not. Try using “innovative” or “original” instead.
- I can’t even… believe you keep using “I can’t even”.
Yes, you freaking can! I get it – it seems like a cool phrase to throw around when you want to express you’re so overcome with emotion, that you’ve suddenly rendered yourself wordless. But…really? Is the fact that you can’t form words something you’d want your consumers to know? Is that why they’re following you on social media – to see you forgot to look at the dictionary this morning? Or do you think since the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, your followers will suddenly pick up what you’re saying and think it’s cool? Underestimate them much?
- #nofilter because I’m too cool for school… ah, f*ck.
Sick of seeing and hearing that last one about school? It was popular some… decades ago though, I promise! Anyway… using #nofilter on every single photo you splash on Instagram won’t make people think your photos are masterpieces – it’ll just be another nail in the coffin. Let’s be realistic – it’s great to post the picture as it was when you took it, but… why is it so important?
– “Because we’re sick of seeing oversaturated and unrealistic photos!”
– “Nonetheless, I don’t see anything wrong with filters, since the photo, on its own, can never look as good as what you see with your own eyes while taking it. Plus, everyone is now abusing those #nofilter hashtags with food, selfies and who knows what else.”
Yes, I just had a conversation with myself back there – but I made my point, didn’t I? Don’t kill the messenger.
Using these social media clichés is the equivalent of nails on a chalkboard for me. They’re a lame excuse for Internet creativity and there’s a bigger chance of them undermining your credibility than anything else.
If you keep using them anyway… you, sir, are an oxygen thief! Okay, I’m kidding. But you should know better. It’s a dog eat dog world out there and even though clichés are making it easier to spot the really great social media pages, I think it’d be better if at least some people reconsidered using them. If not, think about this: I just managed to use 15 of the most clichéd expressions in the world and this post was still a good read. Do that and the social media world will be your slave forever. Or until you screw up!
A picture is worth a thousand words, but a list of social media clichés is worth at least a rose gold Guess wristwatch, right? Yeah, so feel free to surprise me for Christmas. No? Oh well…
P.S. If you didn’t get any of that – don’t worry, it’s not you, it’s me! (16)